5Escorts

Go Around Circles on 5escorts!

You like loopholes buddy? You like to go round and round silly blank profiles? Wanna see how many areas around the states and canada this site’s serving disappointment? Let’s give you a good preview of 5escorts which clearly doesn’t know how the game is played. JohnDude goes around tons of profiles, and tons of sites, that’s kinda like my job. While I have a really good time on a lot of these sites, some are like cesspools you probably wouldn’t like either. I think it’s important for y’all John bros to know that I ain’t shiting when I say these sites are bad. I have the time, and I sort of get paid to do this, and the pay is good enough for me to bang around places, plus my dad’s rich too, fuck you all wished you had the time and energy like me. But let’s not give you all high hopes, banging 6 different hoes a day ain’t easy, and JD goes hard! I gotta tell you about this site, and imma tell you right now straight up, like I explained already!

So you all probably know my buddy Dave, he ain’t too smart, he’s requested me to review 5escorts, this one goes out to you buddy. See Dave has a nasty habit of exploring all the bad experiences, he gets off on it. So let’s break down 5escorts, coz if JohnDude can’t score right, y’all don’t have a chance.

I Diss On Bad Sites Like 5escorts

I tried guys, I really did, but 5escorts just isn’t hitting close to home. I spent 10 minutes on this site, and I knew straight away this one’s all smoke and mirrors, I mean what does it have? A lot of text, some green shitty color banner, and some repeating profiles on every fucking state? Yo, did someone forget to finish this half ass site? Not even a single picture. Shady ass profiles, and lets not forget, a bad association with harlothub, which I remember was pretty good. I mean HarlotHub was okay, but this? JD couldn’t score. I may have even tried dialing a num, but no one was there on the other side. Ads look like someone just put up fake dummy ones for test run, yep, definitely under construction, I’ll shit on it anyway, and if any available reviewers exist on that site, ever, write to me, write about me, I shit on your site all over again if I have to.

And for the record, I didn’t get a pick from this site, instead got frustrated and picked from, I will not even mention that site, you frickers find out yourself, not gonna counter advertise, JD don’t flow that way.

What Site? Where Are The Profiles?

So let’s see, you get in, and see a lot of shebang going on up in there. A huge list of areas, all seems promising, most good listing sites have this section, it’s gonna build up a little hope in you like maybe JD’s wrong, maybe finally the JohnDude got stumped by a site, and it’s your time to shine Sonny, prove me wrong. I guess someday someone will prove me wrong once the site is finished, but until then, y’all keep trying. Meanwhile, I’ll throw more your way, just not from 5escorts.

So let’s get you into an area, seeing the site isn’t really that bad, you remember backpage.xxx looks just like this, how bad can it be. Go on, click the escort on the next menu list. See all those profile links? The first one you click is always sponsored, and it’ll take you to harlothub. I mean, you can go there directly too, read the review before you get on it, I recommend it! Maybe the next few ones are real? Bunch of repeat posts,I’ve seen that in adultsearch during its formative times, still a shitty site. Profiles have info, no pics, all of them, dry, nothing to look at. Clearly still under work. Let’s not waste time looking around for more, maybe you’ll find one, maybe another area. Wherever you go, whichever area you click, has the same list of shitty ads. Nothing there for ya so get the frigg outta there before you lose all your wood.

5escorts What Even?

Yeah, I bet you like that, getting disappointed, feeling sad, nothing there on 5escorts. Well give it time, just like you need time for a woman to grow tits and a decent ass, you gotta wait for sites to get into the game real nice and slow. Maybe someday, this site will have titties and booties all over its pages, but not today, not in the next few years, because it takes time to build a good site, for poor fucks like 5escorts. So yeah, stay out of it, try other better options, and fuck 5escorts.